i stood out in the rain tonight with eyes closed. captivated in each drop as it descended from the sky, it covered me in one of earth's purest element. washing away the the sleeplessness of times i wished to uncover but couldn't. it reminded me of the fortune that lay in wait. of the reasons i embarked upon a journey that i thought i wasn't ready for. the journey i'm still awaiting to fulfill. so many expectations for a brighter tomorrow that is just over that unreachable horizon. i wanted to embrace every drop tonight. as if my being could be drenched in sorrow to heal my longing. my eyes closed. my heart racing yet steady to the beat in my head. i see that my inner child has been led astray to leave a disfigured shadow of wishful thinking. i no longer see the urgency to understand purpose. but rather enjoy the seconds of each unhindered moment. capricious am i. distant echoes chant expediency. the sound is deafening. my clothes are permeated by the voices in my head that instruct me to keep moving forward. but there i was and here i am. standing on the sidewalk in the rain. eyes closed. heartbeat and cars are the only sounds i hear tonight.