it was that dream i had 23 years ago.

where marshmallows gravitated towards the earth only to cover it in a sweet and sticky blanket.

where footprints of light blue led weary bodies back to the beginning.

where emptied streets echoed sounds of a million more.

where hearts fall.

where darkness falls.

where life becomes breathe.

where hope is locked away.

we find solace in knowing that this is not a dream.

that this is not what we had wished for.

upon moonbeams that emitted from our toes and our fingertips.

where the voices in our heads could never communicate.

it was the a milky way rollercoaster that got us here.

and the candlelit hour of night that made the sun rise the next day.

blistex and lottery tickets galore.

when will i be able to come home.

the incandescent glow of the night light that hangs continuously over the stack of books on my desk brings back the flood of memories i was hoping to suppress for just one more month. i had spam and rice tonight (last night too). it was reminiscent of those family times i now am longing for. i'm still in the process of letting go. maybe not letting go, but learning to move on with life. my family will always be there. no doubt. but it's only me sitting at the dinner table with the hashi in one hand and my civil procedures supplement in the other. the late night discussions of our family's future at the table is now conducted over skype. the laughter is nonexistent. silence has filled the void. the sound of the voice in my head telling me to keep moving forward and not to look behind. the days of childhood have passed and my hand must keep steady as it opens the door of tomorrow.

i've been craving japanese food. there isn't any around here. i traveled 5 miles to attempt to go to a really expensive restaurant at farragut north the other day to find that it was closed on sundays. a familiar tale of working with the letdowns that never quite seem to let up. i was hoping for just a small taste of tonkatsu or a medium size bowl of udon. that would've revived the spirit of a man nearly broken. well, i guess spam will have to do.

i stood out in the rain tonight with eyes closed. captivated in each drop as it descended from the sky, it covered me in one of earth's purest element. washing away the the sleeplessness of times i wished to uncover but couldn't. it reminded me of the fortune that lay in wait. of the reasons i embarked upon a journey that i thought i wasn't ready for. the journey i'm still awaiting to fulfill. so many expectations for a brighter tomorrow that is just over that unreachable horizon. i wanted to embrace every drop tonight. as if my being could be drenched in sorrow to heal my longing. my eyes closed. my heart racing yet steady to the beat in my head. i see that my inner child has been led astray to leave a disfigured shadow of wishful thinking. i no longer see the urgency to understand purpose. but rather enjoy the seconds of each unhindered moment. capricious am i. distant echoes chant expediency. the sound is deafening. my clothes are permeated by the voices in my head that instruct me to keep moving forward. but there i was and here i am. standing on the sidewalk in the rain. eyes closed. heartbeat and cars are the only sounds i hear tonight.

in the HUSL

I, B, am now a member of the HUSL.

I have overcome many obstacles to reach the Hilltop.

I am now home, I am now a Bison.

I am part of the Howard legacy, filled with traditions of powerful leadership and undying service set forth by eminent Black scholars and others from around the world.

I am part of a family where diversity is a blessing, difference is expected and each new experience is an opportunity to be better than I was before.

I am not an island but part of a greater community and it is my duty to lift as I climb.

I am the paragon of all academia and the future of my country.

I am committed to academic achievement, striving to enhance my education and that of my fellow classmates.

I will live by the golden rule and do unto my colleagues as I would have done unto me.

I will remember that my integrity is measured not by what others see me do, but by what I do when no one is looking.

I will make a positive contribution to the overall success of my university.

I, Brandon R. Mita, accept the challenges of being a future graduate of Howard University and all of the responsibilities thereafter for the benefit of myself, my family, my community, and my alma mater.

I am a member of the Howard University family!

I am at the Capstone, the Mecca, I am Home.

crazy supermarket dream

the byproduct of my many sleepless nights while at home, sitting there with my brother, when we start to note how hungry were getting. either that, or we're just plain bored and are looking for something to do so we end up going for a drive to catch the midnight air. so we're driving down what seems to be mccormick avenue and just now, i'm noticing how barren it all is. finally we make it to a supermarket and my brother is extremely reluctant to enter the supermarket for some reason or another. and i say to him, "just go ahead and buy 5-6 things that are under $15 a piece." so right from the start i see this indian woman at about age 25 doing some cleanup work and i also note this white guy who i could've gone to grade school with. but, he's probably fucked up his life and is now working at a supermarket. my brother starts to grab things and i notice he's grabbed three boxes of donuts, which is cool because i've been having an actual mad craving for donuts. i noticed he's grabbed two flavors of cake--strawberry and blueberry. i tell him he's the only one who will be eating that and it doesn't make sense to buy two. i tell him to return one of the two. he goes and comes back and i notice he's returned the blueberry one, which i find odd because he's always liked blueberry much better than strawberry. as we're strolling down the aisles, i see this older balding idiot, probably the manager, running up and down the aisles, screaming at the tops of his lungs to every, single one of his employees. as i'm walking along the outskirts of the aisles i hear yelling over a loudspeaker saying to the indian woman employee, "what did i tell you about cooking and eating food while on the job, are you incompetent?" i glance at her as tears are welling up in her eyes and she's just thrown out a plate full of indian basmati rice and some curry. my blood is starting to boil, but i realize that i'm just a customer so i continue to walk down the aisles. finally i pass the aisle the manager is in as he's crouching over to inspect canned goods when all of a sudden he's yelling at the guy who i thought was my grade school friend. now, i'm pissed that this guy is really a bum who thinks he has authority and is being an asshole about it and making people feel bad. so finally i walk over to this kitchen - an area in the store and there is some pasta cooking and i guess i politely ask "is that some rozatta you got cooking there?" he looks at me and says " what the hell are you talking about?" so finally, after witnessing the mistreatment of basically all of the employees and this one man thinking he's a fucking tyrant, i look at him and step right up to him and say "what the fuck is your problem asshole? why do you have to think that you're better than everyone else here?" i continue to persist with my questions and the grade school friend who's an employee is pleading with me to stop, but i neglect to take in his words and continue badgering the manager. finally the manager who's had enough with me, opens a drawer and pulls out a long and sharp pair of scissors. he starts swinging it around like a madman and i'm telling this guy to chill the fuck out. finally i'm like "fuck this!" and whip out my cell phone. the manager is threatening harm against me if i proceed to call the cops. i flip open my helio and begin dialing "9-1-1" when he yells at the grade school friend employee to get me. the guy turns and starts running after me. he's a lot bigger all of a sudden than i had initially realized when entering the store. i turn the corner and dash around the turnstile that connects the kitchen to the rest of the supermarket, hop the register area, and zenpo kaiten ukemi over the handrails that keep people from jacking carts from the store. my brother is nowhere in sight and i've got this sinking feeling that he's still stuck in the store and has been taken hostage by the fucking psycho manager. but, me in my stupidity begin dreaming about how my shoes have rollerblades in them and i try to go get help by dashing down some long stairways as i'm trying out the rollerblades system lodged in my shoes. and then, my dream cuts off and i awake.

mantra for law school

WHAT IS MY ROCK?

be purposefully transparent. be forthright with my convictions. be confident with my identity. be honored to follow those that came before me. be willing to admit my faults. be firm in my belief that i belong here.

be ready. be strong. be for real.

MY GOD IS A YELLOW and BROWN WOMAN
WHO BELIEVES IN JUSTICE FOR
ALL PEOPLE OF COLOR.

farewell with aacc

tonight i said my goodbyes to my fellow resisters of the system. aacc has been the blood of my college years. renewing my faith in that one can find friends from the most coincidental of circumstances. i never thought i would be so honored to forge bonds with with those that stood against everything for the right to learn.

i look back at my years with aacc with loving care and i remember the very first days i raised my fist in defiance alongside those so few, yet so willing to sacrifice themselves for the betterment of our society. i find it almost a blissful end to an era where i defined myself and my ideals as an asian american student activist. i will embrace those times and utilize those memories as reasons for my existence in the future.

to steven, sae rom, elaine, ryan and soo, a fond thank you for the wonferful farewell. i will surely miss the laughs, the sweat, and tears that we shared on sleepless nights. with luck and fate, i will return stronger and ready to be a leader for us all. be well my friends.